Today was supposed to be a huge day for me. I was supposed to hear “congratulations” and “best wishes”. However, it turned into a day where it was really like any other day. My accomplishments didn’t matter, my hard work didn’t matter, how important this was to me didn’t matter.
I was already feeling sad because I knew when I looked out into my small section of supporters, my mommy wouldn’t be there. Little did I know, no one else would be either. They wouldn’t be there because they didn’t want to be. My mommy would have crawled if she had to, that’s what hurts my heart so much.
After all of this started unfolding I began wondering: “am I supposed to be this sad”, “is it normal to not want to even participate in my graduation”, “should my family support me or is this really not that big of a deal” and so on, and so on.
To me – this is a big day. I chose not to participate in my graduation because I felt like crying like a baby in front of a crowd of people wasn’t appropriate behavior. I’m proud of myself though, it doesn’t matter if anyone else is. I know my mommy would be proud if she were still alive.
In my life I have learned 2 things: 1) Blood doesn’t make you family. 2) Your family by blood will hurt you more than a complete stranger.
No matter what this life throws at you just know – I’m proud of you and congratulations! You don’t have to know me and I don’t have to know you but sometimes we just need to hear (or in this case, read) that someone has our back.
To all of my fellow classmates and everyone else graduating this week: congratulations!